mardi 7 octobre 2008

Twist and Shout



By now, everyone has seen this picture. It's great though, innit? Apparently, for Johnny McCain and Sarah Palin, the fact that the US economy is tottering on the brink of disaster is far less scary than the prospect of Barack Obama in the White House. At least, that is what they are hoping a majority of Americans are stupid enough to believe. But who can blame for trying? Shock and Awe abroad; Fear and Panic at home. It has worked for eight years; why not see if it will fly for another four at least?

I'm going to try and help the A-team instill fear. What makes Obama scary is his name: it sounds so un-American, so swarthy, so Middle Eastern or is it Far Eastern? Whatever. If only he would change it to O'Bama. Then people might think he's Irish. But even if he were Irish, he would probably have ties to the IRA. You know, those evil terrorists. Enough said. Brick O'Bama of Derry.

Speaking of which, what about his leftist ties?. After suggesting in the first debate that Obama was so far to the left the he had a hard time reaching that far across the aisle, McCain has now got his winkin' pitbull with lipstick on the attack. She may get her facts wrong at every photo op, but Palin just keeps hammerin' away. You gotta love a gal with no shame whatsoever. She stoops to conquer. She's a long way from Wasilla, but I reckon now that she has had a taste of the limelight she ain't never going back. Ooh! I scared myself! Wait, I was supposed to be scared at the prospect of an Obama presidency, not at the thought of Sarah Palin winkin' and not blinkin' in my face for years to come.

Okay, don't be scared about this next thing. At least, turn the page until we can find a way to tie it to Obama: the subprime crisis. First it spread to the banks and then to the credit markets in general, creating this terible thing called a credit crunch. The crunch has now spread to Europe. Remember how in Q1, or was it Q2, the US economy performed better than expected? That was in part because our weak dollar made US exports to Europe and elsewhere really cheap. Well, forget about that now. It's over. Apparently, nobody has any more money for anything and they can't borrow either. So all the money has suddenly gone away. And banks won't lend a dime to anyone--least of all their peers in the industry. Can't trust those fuckers. They could go all insolvent on us any minute. Even the commercial paper market basically just stopped functioning. The Fed (and its main man Ben Bernanke, a scary dude judging just by his name alone) had to step in and start buying commercial paper. It's like the whole damn system is constipated.

We should all be scared, very scared, about this. And if some 72-year old man with a chip on his shoulder comes up to you, accompanied by a woman who looks like every 72-year old man's idea of the perfect daughter-in-law/mistress, just say no. Do not talk to these people. They are brain-snatchers. They will suck out the contents of your brain and replace it with mud and bullshit.