On this February 14, Valentine's Day in case you have been living in a man cave without a television, I can think of no better words of wisdom than those I came across this morning. Tracy McMillan has some harsh truths for women who complain that there are no good men out there or wonder why they are single, for whatever reason they happen to be single. Click on the title for a link to the article. And don't shoot me; I'm just the messenger.
A friend of mine who professes to want nothing more than a man of character to hang out with and perhaps marry also says that she is only attracted to men who are edgy. This is the grown-up version of being attracted to bad boys, which many teenaged girls are until they finally realize that bad boys are just that, bad. Inconsiderate. Abusive. Nasty. Liars and so on. Girls grow out of this phase. Females who pass the age of adolescence without losing this childish attitude do not become women. It is actually part of a larger syndrome, which is the idea that the man you love needs to be a certain way to complete you. This is all wrong. A man cannot complete you; only you can complete you. And until you do, there will be no happy ending.
I look around me and see lots of people who are dissatisfied. Dissatisfied with their partner, dissatisfied with their job, dissatisfied with their looks, dissatisfied with life. I see married couples who are dissatisfied and single people who are dissatisfied. The good news is that I also see satisfied couples and satisfied singles. What is their secret? If they are single, they like themselves (which doesn't mean they think they are the greatest). If they are married, they genuinely like their partner (and it goes without saying that they like themselves). This doesn't mean they like their partner to dress like a 60's gym teacher; it means that it doesn't matter one way or another how their partner dresses. Back to the "edgy" requirement. For my friend, this has a fashion component. The guy has to have mastered the Seattle slacker-grunge-rock star roadie look. Personally, I might be a little suspicious of a guy who had taken the time to do this. But never mind; I am so very happy to be with my 60's gym teacher. I feel quite certain it is an effortless look, the 60's gym teacher look.
So Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there with a heart, but especially to the guy who has my heart. Take care of it please. I know you will.
One of the world's greatest love songs. Listen to those horns!